Infant health, infant milestones, baby care and toddler health are a vast minefield of uncertainties for the young mother. With the parenting advice and communities available on the Internet, and ease of connection on social networking sites and blogs, shopping sites with a vast collection of pregnancy dresses, one wonders if young mothers still turn to their own mothers for parenting tips.
It takes a village to raise a child. The child’s maternal grandmother was the elder traditionally at the forefront of that village. Has this changed in the current generation? Whom do new mothers trust for pregnancy tips through the challenging nine months and positive parenting tips for the exhausting toddler years?
A few mothers pay tribute to what their own mothers taught them about parenting!
Positive Discipline and Responsibility. Jennifer Pinto, 35, a Zumba Instructor in Bangalore, tends to ask her more experienced women friends about dilemmas in parenting her 3 year old son David. “Still, certain aspects of my mother’s parenting have influenced me,” she says. Jennifer has taught David to clear up his toys after play, and to put back anything he takes out. “I believe that getting a child to participate goes a long way towards helping him become a contributing member of society.” Jennifer feels that watching her mother parent her sister and herself has inspired her to start positive discipline and teach responsibility early in David’s life.
The Right Baby Books. “I prefer parenting books!” laughs Megha Pai, 31, Mumbai-based stay-at-mother to a 5 year old daughter. “But, I admit that I copied my mother in that! I remember her array of books including Dr. Spock’s Baby Care, recipe books for children’s favorite foods, and books on infant health and homeopathy.” Seeing her mother using ‘bookish’ advice has given Megha the confidence to also search for her answers in books from the parenting and infant care genres. “I don’t care when people mock me for relying on parenting books. I’ve learnt and grown as a mother, and I feel my daughter is happier, as a result.”
Sibling Differences. Priya Rao, 35, a stay-at-home mom currently on a break from a legal career in Bangalore, has been inspired by her mother-in-law. “Becoming a mom for the second time was a bit challenging. My two daughters, aged 1 and 3.5, are very different from each other in certain ways.” Priya was strengthened by learning about her mother-in-law’s equanimity in accepting differences between her grown-up son and daughter. “She always says that two children born to the same parents are still going to be completely different. She has had so much grace in tailoring her parenting to the unique needs and personalities of each of her children. It’s helped me change my expectations and appreciate what’s special about both my daughters.”
The Importance of Touch. Monika Manchanda, 35, mother to 3 year old Ojas, is a Software Freelancer based in Bangalore. “I was quite a nervous new mother, scared even to give my baby an oil-massage,” she says, and recalls the infant care tips from her mother, “Give the baby enough touch and love; that is what will bond you both and go a long way in building a relationship. Trust your instincts. Be careful but not afraid… whatever you do, know that you can’t break the baby!”
Grandma’s influence and inspiration has not been sidelined by these mothers. Possibly, faster communication, parenting books and other resources only augment the basic support that a woman traditionally offers her daughter in mothering. Let’s not forget how the internet has helped mothers boost their morale with comfortable maternity dresses online and other maternity wear that helps them go out in style and live their life with confidence.
It takes a village to raise a child. The child’s maternal grandmother was the elder traditionally at the forefront of that village. Has this changed in the current generation? Whom do new mothers trust for pregnancy tips through the challenging nine months and positive parenting tips for the exhausting toddler years?
A few mothers pay tribute to what their own mothers taught them about parenting!
Positive Discipline and Responsibility. Jennifer Pinto, 35, a Zumba Instructor in Bangalore, tends to ask her more experienced women friends about dilemmas in parenting her 3 year old son David. “Still, certain aspects of my mother’s parenting have influenced me,” she says. Jennifer has taught David to clear up his toys after play, and to put back anything he takes out. “I believe that getting a child to participate goes a long way towards helping him become a contributing member of society.” Jennifer feels that watching her mother parent her sister and herself has inspired her to start positive discipline and teach responsibility early in David’s life.
The Right Baby Books. “I prefer parenting books!” laughs Megha Pai, 31, Mumbai-based stay-at-mother to a 5 year old daughter. “But, I admit that I copied my mother in that! I remember her array of books including Dr. Spock’s Baby Care, recipe books for children’s favorite foods, and books on infant health and homeopathy.” Seeing her mother using ‘bookish’ advice has given Megha the confidence to also search for her answers in books from the parenting and infant care genres. “I don’t care when people mock me for relying on parenting books. I’ve learnt and grown as a mother, and I feel my daughter is happier, as a result.”
Sibling Differences. Priya Rao, 35, a stay-at-home mom currently on a break from a legal career in Bangalore, has been inspired by her mother-in-law. “Becoming a mom for the second time was a bit challenging. My two daughters, aged 1 and 3.5, are very different from each other in certain ways.” Priya was strengthened by learning about her mother-in-law’s equanimity in accepting differences between her grown-up son and daughter. “She always says that two children born to the same parents are still going to be completely different. She has had so much grace in tailoring her parenting to the unique needs and personalities of each of her children. It’s helped me change my expectations and appreciate what’s special about both my daughters.”
The Importance of Touch. Monika Manchanda, 35, mother to 3 year old Ojas, is a Software Freelancer based in Bangalore. “I was quite a nervous new mother, scared even to give my baby an oil-massage,” she says, and recalls the infant care tips from her mother, “Give the baby enough touch and love; that is what will bond you both and go a long way in building a relationship. Trust your instincts. Be careful but not afraid… whatever you do, know that you can’t break the baby!”
Grandma’s influence and inspiration has not been sidelined by these mothers. Possibly, faster communication, parenting books and other resources only augment the basic support that a woman traditionally offers her daughter in mothering. Let’s not forget how the internet has helped mothers boost their morale with comfortable maternity dresses online and other maternity wear that helps them go out in style and live their life with confidence.
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